I'LL HAVE THE 3 AMIGOS
A two and a half minute clip from Anthony Bourdain's television show "No Reservations" discussing poutine, one of French Canada's guiltiest pleasures.
Cheers til then.
IT WAS WRITTEN ON THE BACK OF A PACQUET D'ALLUMETTES
The Olympics are over. I'm glad they happen once every four years and none sooner. What lasted seventeen or so days seemed like six months because of the sheer pomp and circumstance preceding it.
I felt like I was watching a ridiculous wrestling script unfold when China was accused of allowing underage gymnasts perform - and later it "checked out". OH SNAP~!
It's over.
I DON'T HAVE TO 'PROACH, PROACH, 'PROACH NOTHIN'
Speaking of which, I saw Hacksaw Jim Duggan on TV last night in a tag match with Jerry Lawler. The Medicine Man looked like he was about 80.
THE REAL OLYMPICS
Krystal Square Off 5 just kicked off this past weekend in Chattanooga, TN with odds-on favourite Humble Bob consuming 58 Krystals in eight minutes earning his finals appearance at the end of October. As stated previously, Bob consumed damn near 40 in two minutes at a qualifier before, and I'm sure this is one of those instances where he didn't push himself to full capacity. The man's a lion, people.
Qualifier number two takes place this weekend in Jacksonville, FL. Expected entrants include Sonya Thomas and Hall Hunt. 
27 days.
Kinda wish they woulda signed Georges Laraque. So close.
Cheers
Good morning.
Last post you may have seen the picture of the North Carolina man and his granddaughter where the man caught a 21 pound channel cat with his granddaughter's fishing rod.
And that's hysterical. Those are stories that I really like due to their sheer weirdness. I shared it a whole bunch at work the next day.
I've lived most of the past three years of my life in NC, and to be honest, nearly all of it has been quite pleasurable. When I get a chance, I rail against the area I used to live in quite regularly. Through no fault of their own, regular folks just don't have a chance to get ahead in Western New York. You may call it "The Buffalo Region".
-BUT-
In all fairness, I'm going to list five things that I did enjoy, or miss about Western New York. In no particular order. Pics included if applicable.
1. (the late) Townline Bowl
This one needs no introduction. I had an affliction with bowling when I was a child. I wasn't particularly athletic, or good at anything before Junior High. Come to think of it, I wasn't really good at anything back then save making construction paper versions of Press Your Luck boards. 1,000 plus a spin indeed.
Townline Bowl was located on Route 425 in the Hamlet of Ransomville right outside of the Town of Cambria. It was a shithole. Twelve beautifully kept lanes (read: not so much) greeted you as you walked between two sets of double doors. To the immediate left, a snack-bar. Two steps after your immediate left, a bar. To the right, the lanes. No automatic scoring, you'd actually be lucky to get your ball back from lanes 5 and 12. This was the sheer and utter charm of this establishment. Many Saturdays of my youth were spent at the Townline Bowl. Resident professional bowler and Towline employee Dick Christie was often seen passing out quarters for the video games. Christie had what he thought was a funny one-liner when you wanted 4 quarters for a buck by saying "They're on sale today, 3 for a dollar". Christie also had a particular knack for telling a story about one local teen who hopped a fence and had his scrotum torn from impalement. Too many stories to list.
Townline was a regular bowling joint for regular guys and gals. As time went by, people stopped coming. Leagues stopped forming. Business got so stagnant that open bowling would only be offered on every other day because of the price of electricity. Last I knew, the place shut up and was being used as a storage facility for the son of a man I used to work for at the local convenience store in the center of town. You will be sorely missed, Townline Bowl.
2. Jim's Steakout
GUYS, SAY THANK YOU
Alright, I admit that by not including Mighty Taco that anyone who reads this and is from the area might cry foul. Mighty Taco and their El Nino burrito- yes, you were wonderful. But, Jim's....
Jim's Steakout had four locations when I was at Buffalo State, and blossomed to about 8 or 9 locations last time I checked.
Jim's Steakout was a sub joint that also did burgers, specialty sandwiches and (if you felt like waiting a bit) wings. My favourite location was located on the corner of Elmwood and Allen streets in Buffalo, roughly twenty-five steps from The Pink. If you didn't treat yourself to one of The Pink's steak sandwiches, it was obligatory that you shuffled down the street to Jim's. Be mindful of the night creatures on the two city blocks you must cross in order to procure your wares. I recommend the Loaded Hoagie which is ten ounces of finely chopped steak with steak onions and other special seasoning. Lettuce, tomato and Jim's Secret Sauce equals one good time. Go ahead fatty, get the onion rings too. Tomorrow morning, your toilet will be loved. Big ups to the chef who looks like Steve-O and didn't murder me when a litre of cola found its way onto his cash register one early Tuesday Morning. Highly recommended.
3. The Pink / The Old Pink / 223 Allen St / Allen St. Bar And Grille 
Restroom art. For once, I agree.
SOUL, people. Soul is important. The Pink has a lot of soul. Sometimes, The Pink was filled to the brim with people who enjoyed a wee bit too much melodrama, but you have carry yourself fringe in order to bring yourself back. The Pink is a DIVE BAR. Heavy on the dive. How divey is the Pink? Even I wouldn't put my glass in certain spots, that's how divey it was. This bar laughed in the face of New York's draconian smoking ban. That being said, each and every nook and cranny made the Pink what is was. The Pink had DJs spinning most every night, and it was a radical mix of tone. Any given set could feature MC 900 Foot Jesus, Camper Van Beethoven, Joy Division, Joe Jackson, Morphine, The Rolling Stones, Beck... and that's just a few. On any given night, you could put yourself a band together by scanning the drunk crowd. Most nights, you could carry on a civil talk about music, politics, why the Sabres are a valuable team, why the Sabres suck, or why Buffalo politicians just "don't get it".
NB: They have Guinness on tap.
Things happened in the Pink that you think happen in other places. I'll share one with you. Not quite a year ago, I took Pear and Stewart's old man to Attica to retrieve his deep fried turkey machine. We couldn't find it, and as a consolation prize, I took him to the Pink on our way back to Niagara County. I told Brian that he was going to be in for a treat. Fifteen minutes after being seated, Brian wanted to know what the big deal was. Right about then, at the end of the bar you heard two guys raising their voices a bit, culminating with
"I bet you $50 that you can shoot me with your taser and I won't fall to the ground".
Both men excuse themselves to the restroom, where you hear the familiar "ticka-ticka-ticka" of a taser, followed by a loud THUD.
Men walk out, one guy reaches in his pocket and passes a U.S. Grant to Taser guy.
The only lights at the bar.
The service was always impeccable. Bartenders who are from the elder school of service include Chris Buckley, Jay McCarthy, that one guy Scott who hangs with the guy who looks like Big Pussy from the Sopranos, Big Moe, and Drew always put on a spread. If they hated their jobs, or hated the clientèle, you wouldn't know it. Always happy to see your drunk ass, and always offering a firm handshake. They just don't make 'em like that any more.
The after hours was always a nice touch, guys. Thanks.
Did I mention the Steak Sandwich? Holy Christ, how could I get through that without the sandwich? It's $10. You've paid lots more for less. It's a twelve ounce ribeye prepared right in front of you on a grill that has more character than.... it's a well seasoned grill. Served with onions and peppers, steak sauce if you do that too.
Moving on.
4. Lake Ontario 
Lake Ontario (more specifically, Lake Ontario off the Wilson Pier) was my happy place. When shit went down hard, or I needed just to get away from the world for while - and I didn't want to drink it off, I went to the Pier. It just shuts the world out for a while. Walk to the end of the pier, and have a seat. Pull your hat on or you'll lose it. Not recommended to do after Labour Day unless you bring a parka. Nothing but you and the waves. Sometimes, the seagulls come close. You'll lose an hour easy. And yes, I watched the ships come in.
Finally
5. The People I Know.
There's no need to name-check you. You know who you are.
There's my list of 5 things that I didn't despise about Western New York. We now return you back to wherever it is that you came from. Cheers.
SIX THOUSAND HITS!
Thank you!
I don't know what to do when we reach 10K if we do.
I appreciate each and every last hit I get. Thanks!
Your support is hysterical and welcomed beyond all belief.
Thank you so very much.
EXTRA!
YOU CAN DRIVE UP IN YOUR BARBIE CAR, I DON'T MIND
"This means nothing to me, Oh, Vienna!"
Midge Ure, 1980
I love NC.
That's all I got.
Be good to you and yours.
SO
So how the hell have you been? Good? Pretty good? 
Humble Bob Shoudt good?
Humble Bob has added a pretty large feather to his Humble Bob Cap this week taking the Ash Creek Saloon Rib contest by devouring 6 pounds, 8 ounces of ribs in 12 minutes, edging IFOCE number 1 man Joey Chestnut by 2 ounces. Humble Bob might just be noted for his impressive 2-minute Krystal brigade where he consumed 39 in that span. And that's just ridiculous. Good show.
Speaking of Krystals... The qualifiers begin this weekend, starting in Chattanooga. Will Humble Bob destroy his previous total? Will Chip Simpson surface? Will I stop asking questions? Just one more.... Will there be the Krystal-Cam for qualifiers?
THESE, people, THESE are the questions that need answering. Qualifiers happen once a week starting this weekend until the final 7 weeks later. The winner from the qualifier will get a pass to the final table to be held in Chattanooga at the end of October. The 2007 champ has earned a bye to the finals. The top 3 second-place finishers will earn wild-card births. Excitement, excitement.
NOT THE NEXT SPELLING BEE CHAMP
Frigale. Say it to yourself a few times. Frigale.
Oh.
WAITING FOR THE SIRENS' CALL
And it's halfway through August. Well, two weeks more to go. Which means, NHL preseason starts in about a month. Here's a link to a guy who pays pretty good attention to what's happening in the lines of NHL-wear. Worth a clickity.
MISC, ETC...
An article from South Florida's NBC-6 states that 100 college profs nationwide want to get the drinking age lowered from 21 to 18. Normally, I wouldn't've given two thoughts about it, but it irritates Mothers Against Drunk Driving in the article, so I'll give it a link.
FINALLY
- Watch more free videos
Not quite the "Kid bathes in Burger King Sink" video....
Need a chair? The fans are happy to oblige.
INCREDIBLY, it takes til :29 for someone to get on the mic.
Take care everyone.
I don't believe when I type things in search engines that they've never heard it before.
Example: "I'd _________ stab _________ in the eyes ________"
Never?
C'mon!
The Wyndham Golf Championship is taking place in Greensboro through this Sunday.
It's not often we get Goodyear Blimp action in the town. My zoom function is somewhat limited, so there's a beautiful brown circle from MS Paint in order to help guide your blimp seeking capabilities.
UPDATE: It's the MetLife blimp.
Whoops.
Isaac Hayes
1942-2008
Yeah, he wrote Theme to Shaft, and later ended up quitting South Park 'cause he was a raving Scientologist, but he sure did make some memorable clips in the aforementioned cartoon.
Phone's jacked up until I get a new charger. I was a raving lunatic the other night on the phone, and just when the conversation started turning interesting, I yanked the thing right out of the wall. And, I ain't getting up today to get one.
To the bat cave.
UPDATE: New charger. Woo!
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